You Can’t Catch What You Can’t See!

Week 2 Blog: April 8, 2024

Content Title: You Can’t Catch What You Can’t See!

I wish I could pinpoint the exact date and time when I began running from God. I have heard

some testimonies where some can pinpoint an exact moment in their lives where they decided to run. Maybe you are one of those individuals who can recall the exact moment or even a cause to justify your decisions. Either way, something caused me to divert from His will. Something occurred that caused you to possibly feel unseen, unheard, and perhaps forgotten as I did. Hidden.

For me, there are too many events to count. If anyone were to ask me to name a time when I

fled or thought I was hiding from God, to be quite honest, I cannot name just one. I can likely fill a book with events from my adolescence to adulthood where I was aware of not only right from wrong, but I understood I had been separated for a cause that was greater than I could ever imagine and still made a questionable decision. And at the end of each of those events, I can assure you that they will sound very similar in result.

I ran, hid and, in my mind, I was unseen.

I was raised in my grandfather’s church where he pastored a Spanish A/G (Assemblies of God) church in Elizabeth, New Jersey on a small side street near the New Jersey Turnpike on the corner of Atlantic Street. I saw firsthand how much effort and responsibility fell on his shoulders and at a young age, one could only hope to emulate his demeanor and how he carried himself as a Pastor. To be brief and frank, they just do not make men, much less Pastors like him anymore.

As a kid, I recall sleeping on wood pews (not as bad as what it sounds) all while our church had amazing services and experiences where revival was at the brink. Elders would routinely bring a word from God or prophetic words that would shake the foundations of that small, tan brick building. I grew accustomed to seeing a mighty move of God and even had personal experiences that I can recall to memory services where kids and young people were baptized in the Holy Spirit.

Could you imagine a generation ago, young people were emboldened to not only speak of God’s

love in public but proclaim a plan for each person they encountered? Seems so far ago, huh?

As the years grew on and life took its natural toll on me as it did others, I was always drawn to the same idea. If our young lives were filled with experiencing so much of God’s love and His presence, how could so many of us…including myself, leave that? What happened to me, that instead of capitalizing on those moments, I decided to run and prefer to be unseen. What happened to us?

A LOT!

Amid God pouring out His presence in the church during my teenage years, I was going through struggles that went unseen and unspoken. For instance, I struggled like most young men in private with the image of women that would affect me for years. Instead of viewing them through the lens God had always intended. I had over those same teenage years, grown a habit of lying that would rival the most delusional of minds and would leave me questioning whether I would ever be able to repair my character to what I knew God desired of me.

The deception of sin, especially at a young age, is that there is always time to reconcile. So, until that time came, my mentality was to run, hide, and survive. I can certainly share; it was that same deception that helped motivate me to continue lying to myself well into my adulthood. This lie was so misleading that it fooled me into using a false sense of security in running and hiding. Never mind the fear of anyone close to me finding out about my decisions, I was more focused that if I was going to sin, it was between me, myself, and I.

It was private and therefore, never to be spoken of. My issue, my problem.

Altogether, my adolescence was marred with a constant motive of hiding as much as possible

from everyone around me. My routine was simple, and I mastered it so well that I found myself hiding my sin and my struggles, ensuring that this pattern would continue well into adulthood. I find it quite humorous that all along, what I felt I was concealing from the world or even my family and friends brought forward an undeniable realization that I was blinding myself from identifying what needed to be exposed.

Proverbs 28:13 (NKJV)

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will

obtain mercy.

I could identify my sin and my struggles in the privacy of my thoughts, and even believed that I was running away from God, but I was the fool for believing so. And maybe for you, this foolish belief may not be tied to a specific sin, but maybe a way of thinking or a personal struggle that you have been told dozens if not hundreds of times to pray over. Maybe even you can identify that character flaw that has been an obstacle in your path for years. But the time came for me to not only identify it, but also realize that if I could not catch and call out what would eventually be the silent killers of my calling, I would move through life never experiencing the fullness of God’s grace.

              This takes me to a well-known story in the Bible of blind Bartimaeus (Matthew 20:29-34, Mark10:46-52, Luke 18:35-43) all tell the account of his encounter with Jesus near Jericho. In brief, Bartimaeus was a blind beggar who was asked a very important question by Jesus when asked,

Luke 18:41 (NIV)

41 “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

Jesus knew exactly what his deformity was and knew why Bartimaeus was on the side of the

road. He was blind and was unable to work therefore relegating him to beg on the side of road hoping that someone would stop. Jesus calls him over and, in my mind, I imagine an ironic moment where the disciples in irony hear their Messiah’s question…” What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus knew. The disciples and the crowd knew. I imagine other beggars in the vicinity knew what the blind man wanted, and Jesus still had the audacity to ask this question?

It was never meant in a manner where Jesus did not know the man was blind nor was it meant in a demeaning manner towards Bartimaeus. It was asked so that he could recognize and confess through his words his deficiency. He replied in a manner that I feel is telling of what our encounter with God should look like. He identifies Jesus as Lord FIRST, then petitions for his sight. In our lives, even with the physical and spiritual sight, we come to God with petitions for change without ever identifying who He is in our lives much less the deficiency or struggle that is blinding us.

Although I know God is all knowing and all seeing, in my personal experiences, I still found

myself begging in self-pity and experiencing God near me without ever being able to answer that very question. I was blinded and in those countless situations throughout my life, times where the Messiah was near, I was never able to muster up the mettle to call out my sin by name. Instead, I chose to reason with my weaknesses and never truly caught the sin and struggles that were hindering me.

Bartimaeus received his healing and one of Jesus’ most famous lines was spoken.

Luke 18:42 (NIV)

“Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.”

              In my personal life, I found myself sulking after years of spiritual blindness that I can admit was self-inflicted. Some of us, have worked so hard to handle issues in our lives that were never meant for us to maneuver alone. There are chapters etched into our stories that God cannot wait to record and display for His glory, but we are failing to see and identify them for what they are. Miracles waiting to be recorded when you speak in faith.

The miracle was recorded when the flaw was identified.

              Do I believe that Bartimaeus’ blindness was self-inflicted? No. Do I believe a lot of our struggles are caused by our own hands? Not all. Do I believe anyone really wakes up one day looking for ways to demolish the blessing of life God has given them? I cannot fathom that level of self-destruction and I would hope that if you are reading this blog, it allows my words to penetrate through your heart. However, if we are to grow into an understanding of what God requires of us to surrender our stories, we must be able to identify and submit them wholeheartedly to Him.

              What if I told you that your miracle, the true freedom you desire, and the moment you catapult into your ministry is dependent on you catching those issues instead of accepting the circumstances in your life? God has seen it ALL and He awaits your reply to the notorious question “What do you want me to do for you?” A question that I faced not long ago and through tears I uttered my issues and struggles into identification and through faith have felt a true liberation in Him. What will you choose to reply with? After all, you can’t catch what you can’t see, until what you can’t see catches you!

Next Week’s Content Title: Birds of a Feather, Flock Together!

-AMN